It is October 1st as I start this draft, of the year 2025 (I specify the year as if I’ll start this blog and never actually publish it or finish it… One should see the amount of drafts I start but never actually publish). We’re nearing 2 years of witnessing unregulated hell unleashed on the people of Palestine. In the last two years, I’ve had a lot to learn on the actual history of “Isra-hell”, it’s occupation of the land they claim is theirs, the history of the land and people of Palestine.
I will admit that I was definitely very ignorant to a lot of this until these last couple years. My perspective has definitely grown and changed as I’ve listened to the stories of the Palestinian people, read up on the history of that region, and listened to people who have done vast research. Additionally as I write this the Sumud Flotilla is nearing Gaza and is in the danger zones of being confronted by the IDF. Tensions are HIGH. The other tab on this browser is set to the live video feed from the ships.
But the main topic I wanted to take apart here is how a propaganda machine works. More of a thinking writing session, rather than dissertation with quotes and references to people that have done research on the matter. I’m certain there are plenty of books that take apart historically how propaganda has been used so I don’t need to take up that space, per se, additionally I’m not writing this for a published paper. It’s on my personal blog for fuck’s sake.
I very rarely talk about growing up in a Christian household. Essentially if I know a person well enough I will go into some details of that past, but really it doesn’t define me entirely as a person. I have been wanting to talk a little bit more about it since watching season 2 of Shiny Happy People, which was 3 episodes about Teen Mania. I was an intern at Teen Mania in ’99. I was a Jan intern, which meant I was there from Jan to Dec of 1999. Everyone that was interviewed in this series, I knew personally. At the very least, I had met them once or twice. Would they remember me? Maybe? I doubt it.
For my self history I can divide up the chapters like:
Ages 0-19 – Andy growing up. Some elements of this Andy I have kept, like my love of video games, artsy and creative insights. Some elements I had abandoned, like my Christian beliefs.
Ages 19-20 – Teen Mania Drew. Most of this entity is gone.
Ages 21+ – Post Teen Mania Andrew. Since announcing I was atheist on my xanga blog, this Andrew has been taking the best of the former Andy and Drew personalities and adding on to them, learning, dissecting, developing, and expanding. This is the Andrew you all know and love.
I think I will essentially save the Teen Mania history for another entry because it is a lot. I feel like I do need to document it somewhere because the further I get from that experience time wise, the less of it gets retained in memory. Which isn’t so bad. The scars from the trauma of that period had been healed to such a degree that even any mention of Teen Mania and that era brings no ill feeling, thought, or pain. I don’t necessarily regret going, because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have made the next steps to free myself from the chains of religious thought.
When I returned home from Teen Mania I came back VERY DIFFERENT. I couldn’t relate to my friends or family and any experience with other church members felt very lacking. Teen Mania had truly brainwashed me into its core ideals. The Teen Mania internship was built to create soldiers of god, and they really pounded it into us that we were going to be the ones that would change the world. Coming back home, however, was a very tough and growing experience. Through the year 2000 I spent untangling and deprogramming myself. Teen Mania was definitely a cult and this had been discussed in the 2010 tv special, Mind over Mania, who also interviewed some similar people as the Shiny Happy series. The weird personal takeaway from watching both of these was seeing how TM had put such a hold on these people that they struggled for years, almost decades after, and I abandoned it all within a year. That is to say, the levels of depression, meditation, analysis I went through for my deprogramming, I don’t necessarily recommend, however. Announcing I was atheist in 2001, many of those friends just disappeared.
Even before I went fully atheist, I would see hypocrisy in the church that I would question. I started to see church pastors as elaborate car salesmen. The car salesmen is the absolute most lecherous creature on our society, they can talk you out of $20-30 thousand dollars with a smile on their face as if you two will be buddies for life. The pastor will talk you out of ten percent of your paychecks and pretend to be best buddies for life. What does a christian pastor sell you for that price? Hope? Faith? That last year I was a believer I was skeptical of a pastor that owned a large house, new suits, new car. They teach us to not be of the world, yet drive pristine Mercedes Benz to their giant churches and then beg, beg, beg the attendees to give their money because it was what God wanted them to do.
When we look historically at World War 2, the rise of the Nazi power, we can easily look at the propaganda used and say, “wow, how could anyone fall for that?” Yet, here we are, not even 100 years away and we see it even WORSE today, a propaganda machine built into not just US politics, but our news and daily conversations. People have been not communicating with family members, co-workers, colleagues, because we don’t trust what side they are on.
I saw a video on IG the other day stating that we have been in a civil war in the states for at least a decade. It’s not a boots on the ground civil war, but a digital civil war. I agree with this. And I’m sure any reader can potentially agree if there was anyone in their life that they stopped talking to because they didn’t agree with how they voted.
My main inquiry really thinking through all this is, to those that generate propaganda, are they aware of how false of a narrative is it or is there a level of disconnect where they fully believe the message they are propagating? Additionally in order to successfully convince millions of people, a shit ton of money needs to be poured into this. And to add to that, I suppose when people have billions of dollars at their disposal, they feel they have the ability to control vast amounts of people because they can sway technology, news, dialogue however they want it.
Like, does the pastor go home at night to their big house and just say, “wow god gave me this” or do they piece together that they conned old ladies out of their social security funds for the price of good faith and hope?
We can see the messages coming out of the IDF, the obvious propaganda. Err it’s at least obviously propaganda to those of us that have been really paying attention. Given these last couple of years, it is hard to NOT pay attention. Seeing hospitals and children be blown up daily, families fight to get what scraps of food they can find, and I also see hope. I see people that are hopeful and trying to continue to live.
Growing up Christian, being so immersed in the regular day to day dialogue. I wasn’t just going to church. I was attending Christian school, rangers, youth group, then the Teen Mania internship. My entire social circle was anchored around the Christian faith. Some might question if I refer to this environment as being submerged by propaganda, but really it was. Christian propaganda that evolution was false, that abortion was murder, that the world is only 5 thousand years old, that everything in the bible was true. When I was in this environment and had discussions with people outside the faith about these topics, I just repeated what I was told.
These churches will tell you that they are not a cult and that one should question everything about it, but they guide you to question THEM about their religions, so they can properly respond with a dialogue about why their religion is the sole true religion.
When it was a big part of my daily life, I shared this. It was only when I questioned my own faith that I was allowed to question other aspects of it and consider other perspectives and learn from other people.
I can see now how abortion IS health care.
I can see now how evolution has not only been proven, but continues to be proven.
I can see now how our earth is 5 billion years old.
The unfortunate thing is how we can’t bonk on the heads of people with Darwin’s book and expect them to understand and change their perspective. It’s a process that takes years for some people, decades for others, and many will not understand or change their internal core values. They will stick to it, as if it were a challenge.
And what we have going on right now is propaganda building up over decades and decades, forming bonds with millions of humans, that has stripped these humans of true empathy. They literally see the Palestinian people as a threat to their core. We’re witnessing millions of unnecessary deaths all because of their religious faith.
I’m vehemently anti-religion. Since I’ve gone atheist, I can value some aspects that religion brings. However, this is a social tool that we no longer need in our human society. Science can further our progress as humans.
Meditation, additionally, does not need to have spiritual or religious roots. Also, one can be spiritual without being religious. This thought I need to break down further as well.
2025/11/13 Updates:
I had this in my drafts for over a month, and the main items to call out from the first few paragraphs was how the Israel Navy captured the Sumud Flotilla; tossed all the aid into the ocean; claimed those boats didn’t have any aid (when we have video and receipt proof of aid because they documented everything); held the people of the Flotilla in their prisons; beat and tortured Greta and the other activists in their prisons and as far as I know, many had gone back to their home countries.
The rest of the blog is more of an introspective look on my upbringing as a Christian and how propaganda had been used my whole life. Why do I always get hesitant to publish a blog? Blogs like these are so deeply personal, I feel like when I hit publish everyone will read it. I have to remind myself that very few will actually find and read this. hahahahaha!